“This one’s incredibly Christmassy. That’s true of the previous ones but I wanted to go for broke. It’s easily the most Christmassy thing you’ll ever see. It’s a huge, sentimental, lovely, jeopardy-driven story. It’s the Christmas special I’d like to see. It’s like a compilation of every Christmas movie. A big Christmas treat. But that doesn’t mean it’s without scares, and that doesn’t mean it’s without heartbreak. It has genuine tragedy in it.”

My earliest memory begins with macaroni

and cheese and beans

and not wanting to eat the beans

and being forced to eat the beans. 

Mr. Bob and his dramatic mustache

captivated class

under his six foot frame.

After that,

I shit my pants in front of everyone

and showed the prettiest girl in class

my pipe cleaner muscles and my clicking wrist. 

She comes over just before Christmas

and helps my family decorate the tree. 

My mother hands her tinsel

and we listen to the California Raisins

singing Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. 

My father walks out with a video camera

and Christopher leaps in front of it

waving his hand like he is casting a spell

shouting “hello” with a wide mouth. 

I force him to the ground

and his body collapses

against the hardwood floor.  Everyone laughs. 

Julie holds up a golden

spray-painted

noodle wreath and asks me

if it is the same golden

spray-painted

noodle wreath I made

for my holiday project

as if there were

suspicions

of other wreaths

of other women

of other Christmas trees

before the one we dressed.